How to Feel Safe During Uncertain Times
Updated: 3 days ago
I'm writing this to you in the midst of the Corona virus fiasco (What a time huh!)
I'm thinking about how we can all feel more safe and centered right now, but even once this has passed, these points will still hold true for any uncertain times in your life
So, first we got to look straight into the dragon's mouth. Why are we feeling so fearful and anxious? I was having a conversation with my partner yesterday about a theory that every fear we have is really rooted in the fear of death. We feel fear because it helps us (hopefully) move further away from death, and closer to a longer life
It's okay to be afraid and stressed, and a good bit of it is useful. (I know, I wish it wasn't necessary too. I didn't make the rules)
But this brings me to step 1:
1. Face your feelings
First acknowledge what's going on internally for you. Just say to your feelings "Hey, I see you there. You're allowed to be there". No one likes being ignored, not even our feelings. Simply acknowledging and allowing them to exist instead of shooing them away instantly makes you feel more zen
It's totally okay to feel however you're feeling right now. This event is unprecedented. If you feel anxious, allow yourself to feel that. Meet whatever you're feeling with awareness. Now is the perfect time to practice being still and noticing whatever comes up (I know. This practice is tough!).
Ask yourself, how are you feeling right now? Without judgement, just sit with that feeling for a moment.
2. Create a plan
The fear we feel comes from wanting to avoid pain and death, yes. But it often gets way worse when we feel we're not in control of what happens.
So, create the best plan you can. What can you do to help yourself out? Right now I'm thinking about: social distancing and taking care of my health (sleeping 8 hours, eating well, managing stress)
Create a kick-ass plan and you communicate to yourself "Okay, I got this. I have some control here".
3. Recognize: You can decide how you want to feel
Here we go, now we're getting into the juicy stuff. How do you want to feel right now? You have a choice. Don't get fooled into thinking you don't because everyone else is feeling a certain way right now. It's perfectly normal (and helpful sometimes) to feel stressed - but you don't have to get stuck there all the live long day
Right now I'm choosing to acknowledge the stress (I love journaling to get my thoughts down). But also I'm choosing to feel curious and centered. I'm leaning into curiosity so I can think about what lessons I can take from this strange time. And I'm choosing to stay centered so I can feel safe, put things into perspective, and also lift others up around me
How do you want to feel today? Centered? Safe?
And what values do you want to practice during this time? Slowing down? Honoring your feelings? Gratitude? Perseverance?
4. Practice lots of self care. Time to double down!
One of my favorite coaches Amy Young, has an awesome practice called the Sacred 6
Not only is the name super catchy, but it also makes you feel so nourished and taken care of. I'll walk you through mine
The basic idea is to pick 6 things that nourish your soul. It's completely personal to you. What makes you feel the most recharged? Make a list and put it on your bedside table so you can look at it every day and act on it
My Sacred 6 are:
1. Getting into nature (even if it's just right out back)
2. Gratitude journaling
3. Yoga and meditation
4. Connecting with loved ones (call, text, etc)
5. Music. Listening to music and playing my guitar and singing
Of course keep up with all the basic self care: the guzzling of water, sleeping for 8 hours, and moving your body. Totally include these things on your list if you feel like you need the reminder. So far I've been killing the basics! These 6 above I'm still working on
Remember! All of this is a practice. The first couple days of being confined to my home for this quarantine I watched a ton of YouTube videos and just avoided doing any self care. Even when you know it'll make you feel good it still takes work!
Don't give up. Just do one thing on your list once and you'll notice how good it feels after. Then you'll want to do it again. Keep practicing
You got this. We got this
(Ps. However you feel right now is totally okay. You don't have to be happy all the time. Make space for whatever comes up)